Yeah, I decided to post it...

Once upon a time, a fox was sauntering along the road, casually looking for something to eat. He saw a large, beautiful clump of grapes above him, and immediately wanted them. He didn’t forget that they were probably someone else’s grapes, and to take them would be stealing, but he justified his actions by the fact that he was hungry, so this person, whoever he or she was, needed to give him something to eat. Come to think of it, this was a government road, and the grapes were growing along the road, so these must be the government’s grapes. That surely meant he was entitled to have these grapes—I mean, that’s what the government is there for, right? To give people anything they want, of course!

With this in mind, the fox immediately began to try to reach the grapes. He jumped up and down in the road, unaware that this could cause muscle fatigue and make his legs sore, but was unable to reach the grapes. He slumped on the ground, his legs aching. The government should have sent someone to put the grapes lower since he couldn’t reach them, he pouted. Ah-hah! He thought, seeing that there was a fence underneath the grapes; I’ll just climb up the fence and grab the grapes. He tried this, but was again unable to reach the grapes. All he got was splinters in his paws, since the person who built the fence had been completely careless of environmental issues and built his fence of wood, instead of recycled plastic boards, thus needlessly sacrificing countless hundreds of trees. Finally, he gave up. He sniffed in contempt and trotted off down the road, saying: “I’m sure those grapes are sour.” Of course, he was in denial and couldn’t really take in the fact that he had failed, which of course was important to his self-esteem. In fact, it was probably better that way, since everyone is a winner, and the fox decided that he was a winner because the grapes were probably sour. And that’s all that is important.

 

 

Note: This is satire and is not supposed to be taken as the views of the author.