~The Elven-names~ Worth it?

Then I saw Matt. He was bending over the still form of a man.

I went closer to see who it was. Just then Matt moved, and I could see more clearly who it was.

Dad was lying on the ground. Motionless.

"No!" I cried. "Dad!"

*  *  *

 

Matt heard me, and he turned. His face was sorrowful and grim as he looked at me. I looked at him. I didn't want to ask if Dad was alright or not.

 

Weneithel pushed past us. She bent over Dad and felt his wrist.

 

She turned and looked at me. "He's still alive, but just barely. If we hadn't been searching here today..." She didn't need to finish her sentence.

Some of the male searchers who were with us made a litter and we carried Dad back to the Forest Palace.

I went and looked at him as he lay on his bed. He was so still. So pale. It didn't seem like he could recover.

I wondered what had happened. Had he gotten in a fight with the Mormir? Had he been outside the bounds of safety for the Elven-named?

I went back to my room.

*  *  *

 

It was an anxious two days for us. Dad remained unconcious, and was being taken care of by the elven-named.

Then, on Thursday, I was sitting on my bed, just staring at nothing, when Weneithel entered.

"Mirluin, your father is awake. And he's asking for you," she gently stated.

I jumped up. "Dad's awake? Really? Great!"

I followed Wen down the long hall to Dad's room.

We entered, and there was Dad. He was still pale, but his eyes were open. It was hard seeing him like that.

He smiled faintly as we came in. "Mirluin," he whispered.

I shook my head slowly. How had this happened to my Dad?

"What happened, Dad?" I asked.

Dad gave a rueful smile. "I was a fool, that's what happened. I'm sorry, Mirluin." His voice remained quiet, like he couldn't raise it above a whisper.

"You aren't a fool, Dad," I protested.

He shook his head. "I was. I should never have left." His eyes wandered, and it seemed like he meant more than just leaving the Palace on Saturday. After a pause, he continued. "I thought that if I just ignored the realities, they wouldn't exist. I abandoned my friends, because they reminded me of pain. And that left me vulnerable to the attacks of the enemy." He sighed. "They wounded me badly, Mirluin."

Dread rose inside me. It was nearly the same feeling I had had when we nearly left the haven. "You're going to get better, Dad!" I insisted. "You have to!" I took his hands in mine.

Dad shook his head. "I will never really recover, even if I make it through now. I don't know if I can fight them anymore. I don't know if anyone can stand against them. I don't know if it's worth it."

I was crying. I could feel the tears run down my face and onto my and Dad's hands, but I didn't care. I squeezed Dad's hands. "Dad," I managed to say, "that's what they want you to think. They want us all to give up." I swallowed my tears and looked down. The I looked at Dad again. "Dad, Mom died fighting for this, didn't she?"

Dad slowly nodded. His eyes were vacant as if he was remembering something from long ago. He finally spoke. "Yes. Yes, she did, Mirluin."

I gripped Dad's hands. "Then, Dad, if Mom died fighting for this, isn't it worth fighting for? To honor her? Isn't it?" My hands relaxed.

A slow, sad, smile played on Dad's lips. He squeezed my hands gently. Then he sighed, slipped his hands out of mine, and closed his eyes.

Weneithel touched my arm. "We need to go now," she whispered gently but firmly. I let her steer me out the door and back to my room, where I lay on my bed and stared at the sky.

I had much to think about.